A for Effort

I think I accidentally ran in a high school cross country meet today.

I run at Cleveland Park downtown pretty often, and it butts up next to the Greenville Zoo. I usually park in their parking lot and start running from there. In retrospect, there were a few red flags that should have tipped me off to the fact that this was not a normal afternoon, like the occasional fleet-footed teenager zipping past me in a snappy uniform, or the middle-aged moms standing on the side of the path with stopwatches. But it wasn't until I rounded a corner coming out of the woods and was met with a wall of people, cheering and taking pictures, that I finally thought "uh...." I mean, the people of Greenville are friendly, but this was ridiculous. And then I saw the busses parked nearby... and the tables full of water coolers... and I realized "oh sweet lawsy I'm running a 5k with 200 high schoolers."

As soon as I recognized what was going on, I tried to get out of there as quickly as possible. As there were several thousand people there, this was not an easy feat, and eventually entailed me sprinting off the path and into the woods, trying to look as natural as possible, as though that was my normal running route.

I told Kristen the story and she texted me later to tell me she was proud of me for doing so well in my race. I appreciate the sentiment, but I think it would be best for everyone if I quietly step down from competing in the high school circuit.

I really do not need ESPN the Ocho... no one does

I think if Dante were writing The Inferno today, he would reserve the seventh circle of hell for Charter Representatives. Seriously.

Look, Charter guy, I don't think you're stupid- I really don't. I just think there must be some sort of bug on the phone line that garbles the message between my mouth and your ears. Because when I said "I'd like to cancel my service" what you apparently heard was "I'd like to upgrade to the most expensive package you offer". And you phrased it in such a way that I replied by saying "Yes. That's correct. Do that." So don't act all put out when I ask you what my next bill will be and then freak out when you give me a figure that's twice the amount of the original number I wanted slashed.

In other news that DOESN'T make me want to slit my wrists, I had the most lovely time this past weekend at the Sippin' Safari. Now, gorillas and booze are two things I never would have put together, but thank heavens the good people at the Greenville Zoo are capable of thinking outside the box. Turns out wine and primates are a perfect complement.

Let me set up this delightful scenario for you: 4 hours on a Friday night spent eating any number of delicious foods (including cupcakes with little icing animals on them) and drinking about 45 different varieties of wine... all while strolling leisurely past monkeys, lemurs and tigers. Let's ignore the fact that the "fence" surrounding the elephant habitat barely came up to my waist. If I can climb over it, I feel pretty confident that Dumbo can as well. But fear of stampedes aside, it was truly a perfect evening.

And now we've moved merrily into autumn time and I am just itching to get my hands on a bushel or 17 of apples so that I can continuously run the crockpot full of applesauce until Thanksgiving. Too bad it's still 85 degrees out...