Friday, April 3, 2009

A Love Letter in Springtime

Dear Publix,

I just wanted to say, you were right- shopping with you really is a pleasure.

For the past nine months, our budding relationship has grown and blossomed, like the redbuds outside my window. I can't help but think back to our first chance encounter during the Florida trip of '07. Even then, I was enamored with the playful yet legible lettering on your storefront, and your brightly colored resuseable shopping bags, priced reasonably at just 99 cents.

Your wide aisles are well-lit and carefully laid out, and your speaker system buoys my spirits with selections such as the instrumental tribute to Backstreet Boy's "I Want It That Way." It's classics such as these that set my heart to soaring.

Publix, your pimply-faced checkout boys never fail to respectfully call me m'am and compliment me on the amazing deals I've scored. You never get mad when I use dozens of coupons, instead happily accepting them each in turn, lowering my total until I am in the single digits. Your middle-aged managers are always polite and, though I never take them up on it, your baggers always offer to carry my groceries to my car, even if it's only two boxes of Wheat Thins.

That's another thing, Publix- Wheat Thins. You are the only reason I can afford their $4.20 price tag. Your buy-one-get-one sales, combined with coupons from the newspaper inserts, mean I never have to sacrifice more than a dollar for all eight and a half ounces of that seven-grain goodness. And it doesn't stop at reduced fat crackers, no sir- you alone can quench my desire for Velveeta Shells and Cheese, Chocolate Turtle Chex Mix, and the whole array of Coffee-Mate's seasonal flavors.

Publix, you have about a thousand convenient locations in the greater Greenville area. You are, literally, always there for me. While some might consider this behavior 'loose', I just call it accommodating. My rock, my fortress...

I know we haven't known each other that long, Publix, but I really think we have something special here. My frugality and your generous spirit make us a killer team and together I think we could do great things. Like stock the pantry at St. Vincent de Paul. I don't mean to freak you out or anything, Publix, but it's spring, and I wanted to tell you how I feel.

Until next week's sales ad hits circulation, I remain faithfully yours,

Karen

1 comment:

Hannah said...

if i could count the letters i've ended in "i don't mean to freak you out"